CIIS Public Programs Podcast

Transcript

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[Cheerful theme music begins] 
 
This is the CIIS Public Programs Podcast, featuring talks and conversations recorded live by the Public Programs department of California Institute of Integral Studies, a non-profit university located in San Francisco on unceded Ramaytush Ohlone Land. 

When we understand and engage with our dreams we can tap into a special, deeper kind of healing. The process of healing is not about putting the same pieces back together, rather it is about reclaiming what is already within us that could not be broken—the essence of who we are as individuals and as interconnected parts of a greater whole.  

In this episode, author and health and wellness practitioner Kathleen Webster O'Malley shares her practices of using our dreams to heal unwanted patterns and live more authentically. She is joined in conversation by mindfulness, trauma and racial healing leader Jenée Johnson. 

This episode was recorded during a live online event on November 3rd, 2022. To find out more about CIIS and public programs like this one, visit our website and connect with us on social media @ciispubprograms. 

[Theme music concludes] 

Jenée Johnson: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to this very special talk with the beautiful Kathleen Webster O'Malley and we are Caribbean sisters, by the way. Who would think? [Kathleen laughs] Kathleen said to me, our ancestors must be really having a ball. Kathleen's home, where she grew up was the island of St. Martin. We both have St. Martin ancestry, both French and Dutch side and have spent time on the beautiful island of Anguilla. Also, we have common heritage from St. Thomas. So hello, sister! [laughing] 

Kathleen Webster O’Malley: Yes! Hello, hello. 

Jenée: It's so beautiful to be with you. I'm just going to hold up my book so you can see all 

my markings. 

Kathleen: Wow, I love it. [laughing] 

Jenée: If you don't yet have her book, The Healing Wisdom of Dreams, discover your true self 

through lucid dreaming, journaling and visioning. Healing, not just putting pieces back together, I love this from the back cover of the book, really telling us it's about healing and it's not just about putting pieces back together, but really reclaiming and I love that word reclaiming, reclamation, Sankofa, go back and get it. What is already in us and that which could not be broken, the essence of who we are as individuals and as interconnected parts of a greater whole. So, I'd like you to just start out by telling us first and foremost, what is a dream? What is a dream, an ordinary dream, and a lucid dream? What's the difference? 

Kathleen: So, an ordinary dream, well, they both come from deep within us and an ordinary dream is a vision we have while we're sleeping, whereas a lucid dream is when we know that 

we're dreaming as we're dreaming. So, in an ordinary dream, we're having this experience 

and we don't know that it's not a real experience until we are awake. The lucid dream is our consciousness is online and we know that we're having this experience and there are various levels of lucidity, we can just know that we're dreaming and then we can actually be influencing and directing the narrative, the dream narrative. They're both really fun. 

Jenée: That is absolutely fascinating, and we will come back to that. But I wanted to lay that as a groundwork. Like what really is a dream? When you're talking about dreaming, what are you speaking of? Now, what is your dream story? What brought you to this deep exploration of dreams? 

Kathleen: Mm. Well, I've been curious about dreams, Jenée, since I was a child, I would often talk about dreams with my grandmother, my maternal grandmother, and she would tell me what they meant. So, it's just so interesting how life has brought me to this place of sharing about my dreams publicly. You know, when I was 15 years old, I wrote in my journal that I loved writing, and I wrote a lot about my dreams. But I wanted a career in helping people and life through a series of events led me to chiropractic, where I left with the skills of helping people to heal through aligning their bodies and my journey of motherhood caused me to explore other healing modalities and practices and allowed me to have a deeper understanding of what it meant to be whole, you know, in aligned body, mind, and spirit and our dreams, they take us deeper, they take us deeper into our bodies. They allow us to explore all aspects of our mind, our unconscious mind, our subconscious mind, and they allow us to connect more deeply to our soul. So, it's almost like life dreamed a bigger dream for me, I couldn't imagine how, you know, I could help people to heal through writing and here I am.  

Jenée: Now through the book, I really want you to talk about the life events that were pulling you in this direction, because there's a thread through your story about your road to motherhood. In alignment with this, alongside of this, your dreams, what, what happened and what, and how did dreams support you in your journey to motherhood? 

Kathleen: Oh, my goodness. So, it began with a dream actually, that I had at the age of 15. I was walking along the beach and there was a crib with a fish inside and when I told my grandmother about the dream, she said, it meant that someone was pregnant and I said because of the crib, and she said, No, because of the fish. So, whenever I would dream of a fish, I would suspect a pregnancy that was later confirmed and there have been times where, you know, there wasn't any, um…there have been times where it was challenged and I knew the truth of that conception because of the dream that I'd had and yeah, life has just, you know, lived me here. You know, the challenges have allowed me to, to really embrace all aspects of myself. This mystical aspect that you know, my grandparents and my ancestors gifted to me, I believe.  

Jenée: So, the first dream of a pregnancy came at 15.  

Kathleen: At 15, yeah.  

Jenée: With a fish in a crib and fast forward to your own motherhood journey, what, what happened and how did dreams support or inform you?  

Kathleen: So, when, when my daughter, who's now an adult-  

Jenée: You don’t have an adult daughter! [laughs] 

Kathleen: I know, I know! She was born prematurely, and like my grandmother, so my grandmother had nine children, including a set of twins, they were all born at home with a midwife and so that had been my dream. That had been my dream to have a home birth and when I went into premature labor, and my midwife said it was too early to give birth at home. So we ended up having to go to the hospital and because I hadn't had any early ultrasounds, the ultrasounds that were done that day, measured her to be only 28 weeks, not 34 weeks by my knowledge, because of the dream I’d had and I didn't think it was, you know, I didn't share that I had a dream, I just, you know, took their what they found to be accurate. But it turned out that she was 34 weeks after all and so from that moment, I knew that I could trust, I could trust my dreams to inform my waking life. 

Jenée: Wow. And then your journey through motherhood took you to other stops and seasons along the way, as you were endeavoring to expand your family. So how did dreams, what role did dreams play on that journey? You talk about that a lot in the book. 

Kathleen: I do, I do. My childhood best friend had offered to be a gestational surrogate for my husband and me and it took me a while to come to that place of accepting her offer. So, I had a dream, you know, I asked my dreams for guidance and I had a dream where, you know, I was standing at a door and I heard a voice say, it is me and that was just that little nudge to accept this offer to go in a direction that I wouldn't ordinarily have gone in. But the deeper part of me wanted to say yes to this experience and just to see where it would lead. You know, even though the outcome wasn't what I expected, it just continued the journey. It allowed me to learn so much about who I am and recognize that, you know, life is really about all these experiences that, you know, we can have if we're open to them and curious about them and not so fixated on, you know, what, you know, what is the natural way or the normal way? There's so many different aspects of life that are inviting, inviting us to, to explore. 

Jenée: So, what, what have you, well, I want to ask you so many things. Why are dreams key to self-discovery and what have you discovered about yourself? 

Kathleen: Well, dreams allow us to see ourselves more clearly, you know, the parts of ourselves that we don't ordinarily express, you know, the unexpressed grief, unresolved emotions that, that come to the surface, you know, for us to explore in our dream life. Things that we don't want to revisit in our waking life can actually surface, but at a time when they are ready to be healed and that's what's really important about dreams is that they take us where our conscious mind may not be willing to go on its own. But once we get there, you know, we get to explore not just, you know, the shadow parts of ourselves, but what Carl Jung referred to as the golden shadow, you know, those parts of ourselves that might be unnurtured, but they're there, they're there for us to discover, you know, the unexpressed courage and strength. That's really, it's really there for us to find if we're, you know, if we're willing to go on this journey that our dreams are inviting us to. 

Jenée: On this exploration, what have you discovered about yourself? 

Kathleen: Well, lots. [laughs] 

Jenée: Yummy, we're here for it! 

Kathleen: You know, I've discovered that, I've always wondered is my true nature to hide and to just be an observer, a quiet observer and I've discovered that, you know, I have a lot to say, you know, I want to be able to, to use my voice. I want to continue the unlived dreams of my grandparents and my ancestors. You know, I want to embrace, embrace it all, embrace all aspects of who I am. You know, I love science and I love knowledge and I love learning. There's also this, this mystical side that life is asking me to embrace. So, I want to embrace, I want to embrace it all. I want to be fully authentic. I want to be fully free to be, you know, to be myself and I want to invite others on this journey of being their most authentic self. 

Jenée: So, meeting yourself in the, in your dreams, help you to discover that? 

Kathleen: Yes, yes, yes. 

Jenée: I know people are thinking, but how? I don't even remember what I dreamt last night! And I've been, since I've been reading your book, I've really been trying to remember to journal, but tell us how, how can we engage with our dreams? What would be like a good first step? 

Kathleen: A good first step. Well, the good, a good first step actually would be to have the awareness that our dreams are coming in service to our health and wholeness. Jeremy Taylor, who's a prominent dream worker would say that all dreams come in service to our health and wholeness. So even the ones that might terrify us or, or seem bizarre, there are pieces there for us to find, you know, dreams speak in the language of symbol and metaphor. They come from a source of mystery. So, they're not, they're not easy to decipher. They really want us to sit with it and not, you know, try to think logically about it. They don't come from a logical place. They come from a place of mystery. So, it's to, you know, sit with it and allow the meaning, the deeper meaning to emerge. So, I would say having the awareness, listening to programs like this, reading about dreams can inspire, you know, your dream, greater dream recall.  

Jenée: So, it's just opening. So, the first step is to come into an awareness that there's this possibility here. [Kathleen: Right, right.] Open up this door so that you start looking and listening and are there different kinds of dreams?  

Kathleen: Absolutely. Lots of dreams, you know, they're- dreams can have a pretty extensive narrative, you know, clear beginning and a clear end, and then they can just be a flash. It can just be one image or one phrase, you know, that can come through a dream and, you know, it could just be, gosh, there's so many, it could be, you know, something that you don't recall the dream, but you can feel the sensation of it when you awaken, you feel this, you know, something moving through your body or you wake up with a song in your, in your mind and you're singing a song that you, you know, where did this come from? You know, or you're thinking of someone you haven't seen in a long time. So, there are all these different, you know, ways of our, that our inner wisdom is really reaching out and, and trying to communicate to us.  

Jenée: So, first step is step into the possibility with awareness, know that there are many different ways the dreams will come to us. Many different messages, if you will, that want to be shared or revealed. 

Kathleen: Right. 

Jenée: Then what are some tools to help us recall our dreams?  

Kathleen: So, one of the first things to recall the dream is first to have compassion, compassion for yourself and for everything you've lived and it's to recognize that if you remember the dream, it's time for you to remember it and it's ready to be remembered and to work with. But if you don't remember the dream, there's also that sense of knowing that it's done what it's needed to do. You know, dreams can serve to help us to process highly charged emotions. So, if the dream, if you don't remember the dream, your active participation, isn't required right now, it's done what it needs to do. If you do remember it, it's to, you know, to honor it, to record it, you know, writing, keeping a dream journal is really important because even if you don't right now, if you're not recalling the dreams, as soon as you have the dream journal, it's like an invitation to your deeper wisdom. It's saying, you know what, I'm ready. I'm ready to receive and so, yeah, just having that intention to, to remember the dream is also very important.  

Jenée: That's beautiful. So, we have an intention, an awareness and intention. We dream. I love what you're saying. If we can't recall, the dream has done its work.  

Kathleen: Yes. 

Jenée: I never heard that before. The dream has done its work and I have in some way processed whatever is with, whatever was necessary. Um, you also talk about visualization and meditative practices. How does that help us with dream recall? 

Kathleen: Well, dreams and imagination, you know, go hand in hand, you know, we can have an intention to have a specific dream. We can play it out in our mind before falling asleep and because what we think about what knowingly or unknowingly makes an imprint on us, you know, follows us into the dream world. So, a visualization practice, uh, you know, just having, using your imagination to create a scenario of a dream, dreamscape, something you'd like to experience in your dream that can seep into your dream.  

Jenée: Oh, this takes dreams to a whole ‘nother level that I can then with some intention say, um, I want to experience, or I have a question. 

Kathleen: Right. 

Jenée: I can ask my dream. 

Kathleen: Yes, exactly. There's a dream incubation that the process of dream incubation has been around for, for centuries and it originated in Greece where travelers would go to a sacred temple, and they would go through rituals of cleansing and eating nourishing foods and prayer and meditation. Then they would fall asleep, and they would wake up with, you know, either healed or with a, almost like a prescription for what to do next in order for healing. So, a lot of times we can ask our dreams a specific question. Like if we're, you know, on the cusp of, um, you know, some, something new in our lives, we can ask our dreams for guidance.  

Jenée: Wow. That is so beautiful. I heard in a podcast, Dr. Joe Dispenza said that the power that created the body is also there to heal the body. So that came up for me as you were talking that there is resident within us, um, sometimes deep because of the, um, chaotic world that we're in, the culture of hypervigilance, high activity, grind culture, if you will, that these things get buried inside. So, the dream is this opportunity to tend to those areas that are quite potent, but are not, um, a part of our day-to-day life because we're so engaged. We're so externally sourced.  

Kathleen: Exactly. Exactly.  

Jenée: So I love this whole notion of, we can go to our dream with a question and so I'm going to ask, I want, I really want this to be interactive and so folks who are listening, I want you to engage all right because some of the medicine it's like in mindfulness in my world, mindfulness is actually not something that you talk about. It's something that you do with something. It's a cultivation. It's a cultivation of presence and so I'd like to give people an opportunity to experience you in one of the several meditations in this book and this one is on page 53. This will give folks an, uh, an understanding of how do you engage with a question, what's the process to engage with a question. So, this is a beautiful visual, a beautiful meditation for mindful decision-making.  

Kathleen: Yes. 

Jenée: It's in the section where you're talking about guidelines for engaging with dreams. So, can you lead us through that?  

Kathleen: Yes, I'd love to.  

Jenée: Excellent.  

Kathleen: All right.  

Jenée: So, everyone, just sitting in an upright, but relaxed position, taking in a couple of deep breaths, inviting the body to relax and shall I have them drop their gaze or close their eyes? 

Kathleen: Sure. So, I invite you to close your eyes or just lower your gaze and open to your inner vision. Breathe deeply, slowly bring your heart, your body, and your mind to a state of ease and calm. See yourself standing before a door. Notice the texture of this door, its color, the door handle or knob. Continue to breathe in and out. Allow any sensations or thoughts to arise spontaneously. What sensations do you feel in your body as you stand before this door? 

Do you feel a warmth or coolness in your body? Do you feel unsettled or comfortable? Allow 

yourself to think about what might be on the other side of the door. What awaits you? It 

could be the answer to your question, a solution to your decision, a long-held dream. Continue 

to consider what it might feel like if this door remained closed, if the mystery remained 

open. Listen deeply. Listen with all your senses, with your whole being. Hear your innermost 

voice, your deepest wisdom, and the divine wisdom that transcends yet connects each of 

us. What would it feel like to open this door? What sensations arise? How do you feel in 

your body? What wisdom do you hear? What are you being guided to do? When you are ready, return to this present time and space. Move and stretch your body. 

Jenée: That was so lovely. You have a beautiful voice. I really want to encourage folks to get the book on audible so that you can really hear these meditations. What this is an invitation 

to, it's an invitation to source your inner self, to get off the autopilot of outsourcing and slowing down and inviting the deeper consciousness, the inner wisdom to come forward. What I'm really seeing here in our chat is that this is not something you do on the fly. This is like an attunement. You're tuning into your own frequency on a whole ‘nother level. It requires just pulling back and slowing down.  

Kathleen: Yes. Yes. To continue this practice, I would invite people to then continue to journal about this experience and to write what came up in the practice and then before bed to set the intention to actually have an experience where they can gain more wisdom, more insight as they sleep. 

Jenée: That's gorgeous. I want to come back to your legacy around dreaming. It actually came from your grandmother and the whole notion of the sea. As Caribbean people, the sea is so important. My great aunt used to say, there's a beautiful beach on the French side of St. Martin called Le Galleon. You could walk far, far out into the sea and it's very still. She'd say, come, let's go take a sea bath, which really meant just come and sit in the water. Not swim, splash around, but just sit and allow the water, the gentleness of the waves to just rock you, to literally just bathe in it. What is this legacy of the sea and more about your grandmother?  

Kathleen: Yes. As you were describing that, Jenée, what just came to me was just being held by the water, being held by the mystery and the possibility. My grandmother would often send us to the sea. She believed that the sea was the cure for anything and everything. We would actually, my cousins, my siblings and I, we would swim and play in the ocean unattended, no adult supervision. I remember once asking my mom, what were you thinking? She said, we just figured you guys wouldn't go out further than you can stand. Once in a dreamlike meditation, I just said, it was my grandmother's birthday actually this one day, and I said, how did you know we would remain safe? It was almost like I could hear her saying, you were never unattended. I asked the sea to watch over you. If ever you ventured too far from shore, the waves would gently usher you back to shore. I almost heard her say, and now I am the sea. Now, when I think about her message, go to the sea, the sea is really the perfect analogy for dreams and for the mystery and for the possibility. That feels even more meaningful now. 

Jenée: That is gorgeous. It has so many, that it's such a healing place in our ancestry. The sea is such a healing place. I love that you're saying that it's a metaphor for the dream. I'm thinking about the vastness of the sea, the waves.  

Kathleen: So much beneath the surface. Yet to be explored. 

Jenée: When you're working with your clients, how do you shepherd them through this dream excavation process?  

Kathleen: Well, first of all, I allow them to be the ones to say what the meaning of the dream is for them. I can imagine the dream for myself. I can share my imagined version of the dream, but I allow them to say what the images mean to them, what associations might come up in the dream or the image that come up in the dream. What do they associate to the dream? Why now? Why is this dream showing up? How is it speaking to the current reality that they're experiencing? It's really to remember that it's there to serve your health and wholeness.  

So, if a car shows up in the dream, how are you moving through life? Are you out of control? Are you being invited to slow down, pause? Not just when you're driving practically, but in life, are you moving from one task to another without really taking pause and noticing your surroundings? So, the invitation is always to go deeper into yourself and to find what does this dream hold for me? What pieces is it providing back to me? 

Jenée: So, it's very individualized. It's very specific and yet there are things, there are images, animals, visitations of all kinds. How do we make sense of those things? 

Kathleen: Well, we allow the inner wisdom to speak. So, for me, because of my grandmother's interpretation of fish, I carried that with me and so it was easy for me to know, to associate fish with pregnancy because she instilled that within me. The ocean, a lot of people might, a lot of people associate water with emotions and like a tsunami wave, what might be something, an image that is threatening to some people. But for me, when I go to the ocean and that wave comes and it carries me, it feels like a deeper part of myself that's, it's reorienting me. So, it doesn't feel like a threatening image to me. So, it really is like we all have our cultural associations, what we've learned, personal knowledge. So, it's really a personal thing. It's a symbol, it's a metaphor, but the dream typically gives us images that resonate on some level with us. So that we can, yeah, we can know what it means for us. 

Jenée: So, let's talk about some of those things that come up for people a lot, like falling, running, flying. Is there a universal meaning to any of these things? 

Kathleen: Well, a lot of times, with falling, people tend to look at falling as I'm failing or unrealized dreams, but from a place of compassion, if you take a compassionate approach, a dream of falling could just be an indication that you're being invited to go deeper, fall deeper into yourself. The dream isn't going to come to point a finger and say shame on you for not fulfilling what you're supposed to fulfill or yeah, it's not going to point out your failures. It's going to say, go deeper, fall deeper into yourself. Hiding in dreams, we hide when we're afraid and so the invitation is to seek safety first in our waking life or to invite safety into the dream, to know that we are being encouraged to come out of hiding and allow ourselves to be seen, to be fully seen in our authentic selves. 

Jenée: You mentioned it earlier, but I'm hearing it throughout our conversation, the level of compassion one must have for oneself because the inner critic is relentless and can be very punishing and sometimes, we experience our dreams in that way, like in nightmares. What do we do when you wake up with that start, when you have just been frightened, really frightened? 

Kathleen: Really, right. Well, again, our dreams come in service to our health and wholeness, so they're not there to terrify us and often nightmares can be dramatic. They can seem terrifying because they want to be remembered. They want to be easily remembered because there's something there that's allowed that's ready to be healed, that's surfacing, that's unresolved and a lot of times nightmares, part of what makes nightmares so scary is that we feel alone in them. We feel like we're having this experience and there's no one here to turn to.  

However, there's a practice, one helpful practice is dreaming the dream forward where we can invite safety and or an empowering, something more empowering into the dream and rewrite the narrative. So when we can invite through our imagination or through a journal writing process, we can invite a loving presence or a divine being or even a pet, anything or anyone who provides a sense of safety for us or empowerment, a sense of empowerment and if it feels like it's linked to severe trauma, we might need a safe therapeutic space in order to work through the dream. But ultimately, it's really to recognize our inherent creative impulse, our ability to reimagine something different for ourselves and to move toward something that's life sustaining or life affirming.  

So, it's really to pay attention, not just write it off as a nightmare. Like I just, I spoke with someone recently who sets her alarm in order to wake up so that she doesn't have any nightmares. So, she doesn't want to go into the REM dreaming sleep because it's terrifying. So, I, you know, we had a long conversation and I invited her to just, the nightmares that you'll already recall to record them and just look for the healing, look for the wholeness, you know, look for the peace that's calling to you. We can work together, or you can, you know, if you feel that you need a more therapeutic approach, you can go that route too. So, it's really the individual who knows on some level, we know what our needs are, and our dreams are inviting us to recognize those immediate needs and inform our waking life. 

Jenée: That's beautiful. Once again, I'm thinking about the depth of compassion and the acknowledgement that my inner self, my deepest self is not against myself. Right? That's what came up for me as I, it's, I'm not against myself. So, nightmares can be terrifying, but once again, they're there to teach, to invite, wanting us to remember, but this one sleep paralysis, sister, I have had that, and I have felt terrified. It's like a sense of I'm awake, but I'm not fully, and I can't speak. I have a very specific spiritual practice, so it sends me into deep prayer calling Jesus and I'm trying to get free. So, tell me about that one. 

Kathleen: Yeah. So, sleep paralysis, it could happen actually as we're falling asleep or as we're waking and it's really the brain is just signaling to the muscles to, you know, to not act out those images and those actions that we're having in our dreams. So, it's actually to protect us there. It's to really protect us and so it's to recognize that it's temporary, you know, carry into the dream, the awareness that, you know, this, nothing scary is happening. This is just my body protecting me from, from moving and acting out my dreams and it can be, you know, it can be terrifying not being able to communicate because you have the awareness, you're aware of your surroundings. So, the key is to really remain calm and breathe, you know, even though you're not able to move, you're still able to breathe, you know, nothing is, yeah. It's to recognize that you're safe and it's only temporary and it will pass. This will pass.  

Jenée: It has passed for sure. But it is indeed very frightening. I'm going to ask you to tell us how to prepare for bed, you know, to prepare ourselves. But before that, I'd like to ask you about things that will help us along the way. You talk a lot about crystals and stones. How can those be of service to us? 

Kathleen: Well, there's, there's different stones that have different energetic frequencies and 

like, for example, amethyst is a purple stone, and it helps to magnify the energy. But for 

me, I, you know, if you're sensitive, it's better to keep it at a distance from you because you can feel like everything has this energetic frequency. Moon stone, it's a stone that stimulates the pineal gland, which allows for the release of melatonin, which helps us to promote restful sleep. There's clear quartz, that's harmonizing. So, we can use all these different stones to either allow for vivid dreaming. They can help us to remember our dreams. There are some stones that are specific for lucid dreaming as well. So jade, which is a green, typically green stone, or it comes in shades of green, but it can also be different colors. That, you know, I've had experiences where I've fallen asleep with a jade necklace and had amazing creative storylines and lucid dreaming. So, it's just really fascinating how these things work and not only crystals, but even mementos, you know, I've, I had a candle holder that belonged to my grandmother that I had at my bedside and whenever I had that there, my dreams were just very vivid and they're related to the candle holder. You know, a picture, if I put a picture, if we put pictures of, of loved ones next to our bed, there is a, you know, we can carry that into the dream and that can influence our dream states as well. 

Jenée: So, do you recommend putting the stone under a pillow? 

Kathleen: You can put it under a pillow or just right next to your bed or even just even on the floor, you know, near the bed. If you feel like you're struggling, like amethyst, if you feel like you're struggling to fall asleep, you need to move it a little further away from you. 

Jenée: What's a good stone to help you stay asleep? That's the thing for me. 

Kathleen: Yeah. Hematite. 

Jenée: Hematite. 

Kathleen: Hematite is a grounding stone. So, it helps you to, it promotes longer periods of deep, deep rest. It's a black stone and I would definitely recommend it. 

Jenée: Put it under my pillow? 

Kathleen: Put it under your pillow. 

Jenée: Okay. I'm going to do that tonight. How should we prepare for bed because we tend once again to be very amped up through the day. We're on our devices, even through the pandemic, if you had the privilege of working at home, still there is this collective energetic of a lot of fear, tremendous grief in the collective and uncertainty even for those that have been well resourced. We still have, because we are interconnected. We're all feeling something in this experience, some more than others. So how do we prepare for sleep? How do we prepare to drop down, drop in and invite our dreams to be of service to us? 

Kathleen: Yes. We need to do, you know, something to soothe the nervous system, you know, breathing heart that invites us to breathe into the heart, you know, into the belly and just, you know, just that conscious breathing, just noticing our breath, you know, anything that allows us to, to create safety within our bodies. Practicing, there's a technique where you hold the front of your head and the back of your head and you're just cradling your head and that is very soothing. Yes, It's very soothing to the nervous system. 

Jenée: I feel it already.  

Kathleen: Yeah. It really just, just relaxes, relaxes the body and the mind and you can do that while you're lying in bed. You know, one of my favorite practices is really to, you know, to just give thanks. Like I touch parts of my body and just really, you know, appreciate every aspect of my physical embodiment, you know, giving thanks for each part of us, you know, for everything that works really well and for the things that, you know, could use some healing, practicing self-forgiveness, you know, letting go of the things that we didn't do so well during the day or, you know just recognizing that life is just, you know, one experience after another and, you know, sometimes we show up at our best and sometimes we're not, and that's okay. Then surrendering, just practicing this sense of surrender, sometimes it's hard to let go, to truly let go of our thoughts and our concerns and our worries. So, I like to think of it as just peaceful surrender. I'm just turning it over to a larger loving presence. 

Jenée: Yes. Yeah. That's beautiful. We have a meditation that we use in that instance, breathing in, I do my best breathing out and let go of the rest.  

Kathleen: Yes. Love it.  

Jenée: So, to end, I think we have enough time for people to experience you one more time in a meditation and this is called the field of compassion and healing. I'm really struck once again by how much you have us lean into dreams as a place to heal, as a place to process grief, emotions, as a place to find care. I was really moved by this meditation that you have at the end, and I'd love for folks to experience that in your beautiful place.  

Kathleen: Okay. My pleasure. So let us meet in the infinite fields of compassion and healing. As we ready ourselves, be mindful of your posture as you sit comfortably, open your shoulders or gently invite you to position your palms facing upward on your lap or on your knees, helping you to maintain this open posture and close your eyes or lower your gaze and bring your awareness to your breath and as you breathe in, imagine that a revitalizing breath entering through the heart, allowing your lungs to expand fully, as you exhale, imagine the breath being gently released back through your heart. See yourself crossing a bridge that leads to an expansive open field where others have arrived before you find your place in this field. Imagine yourself walking to a spot that is reserved just for you. Stand if you wish or sit on a chair or on the ground and feel your bare feet upon the grassy field. Feel the connection to the earth. This is your home. Know that you are safe and supported, guided and protected. 

Know that you are held in love's warm embrace. Breathe in deep into the belly and breathe out. Breathe in this nourishing breath that envelopes your body, your heart and mind as you experience a sense of ease and calm, a sense of love and compassion, hope and inner strength. Imagine your breath merging with a larger field of compassion and healing. This larger presence knows your heart and the heart of all others. It can direct the energy of love and compassion to wherever it is needed, providing strength and peace, calm, courage, kindness, understanding, wherever it is needed, no matter how small or large the request and as you breathe, allow the energy of this presence to return to your heart. Feel the warmth of compassion being received through your breath. Feel it as it circulates throughout your body, throughout every system, every organ and every tissue and every cell and to wherever you need it most. If possible, place your hand on this area and feel a luminous healing light penetrating it. Notice whatever sensations arise in your body. Don't label them. Simply notice. Breathe in peace. Breathe out peace. Breathe in hope. Breathe out gratitude. Breathe in strength. Breathe out courage.  

In your mind's eye, visualize a person, a person in need of comfort or strength and offer these words. May you know comfort. May you know strength. May you know that you are not alone. Imagine a wave of this compassion gently washing over them. Imagine them being comforted by it. Imagine that this breath brings them a sense of ease, that it brings them hope, that it brings them strength. Now think of a challenging situation in your personal life, in your community, in the wider world and allow the energy of compassion to freely flow to all involved. Imagine yourself letting go of a specific outcome, not with the energy of defeat, but with the energy of peaceful surrender. Allow for something beyond what you or others can have yet to imagine.  

Jenée: This is such a beautiful meditation. I feel that we have created this amazing space of comfort and deep compassion. I'm wondering if you would go towards the end. 

Kathleen: Yes. So, take a moment to come back to your breath and reenter this present moment. Remember that we are each a unique expression of a masterfully woven whole. While no one person is responsible for healing all the suffering of the world, we can each contribute to its healing. So as for tonight, may you have a restful sleep. May your dreams be a source of guidance, inspiration, and healing. May you know peace. May you know love and may we all be free. 

Jenée: What a beautiful sentiment. May we all be free. So gorgeous. The compassion, the confidence that we can have that our inner self is not against us. It is for us and as we drop into deep sleep and dreams that we are healing and that we are forwarding the best that life wants for us. It's all a beautiful cooperative process. Thank you so much. 

Kathleen: You're welcome. 

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Thank you for listening to the CIIS Public Programs Podcast. Our talks and conversations are presented live in San Francisco, California. We recognize that our university’s building in San Francisco occupies traditional, unceded Ramaytush Ohlone lands. If you are interested in learning more about native lands, languages, and territories, the website native-land.ca is a helpful resource for you to learn about and acknowledge the Indigenous land where you live. 
 
Podcast production is supervised by Kirstin Van Cleef at CIIS Public Programs. Audio production is supervised by Lyle Barrere at Desired Effect. The CIIS Public Programs team includes Izzy Angus, Kyle DeMedio, Alex Elliott, Emlyn Guiney, Patty Pforte, and Nikki Roda. If you liked what you heard, please subscribe wherever you find podcasts, visit our website, and connect with us on social media @ciispubprograms. 
 
CIIS Public Programs commits to use our in-person and online platforms to uplift the stories and teachings of Black, Indigenous, and other people of color; those in the LGBTQIA+ community; and all those whose lives emerge from the intersections of multiple identities.  

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